Greg here! Welcome to The Middle, the mid-week newsletter where I share real stories and recommendations directly from me to you.
We have so many subscribers joining us each week that I wanted to let our new readers know about something I’m very proud of, my bestselling book, Midlife Male. I wrote it prior to launching this newsletter and in a way it is our mission statement and north star.
NFL Hall of Famer and Entrepreneur Troy Aikman read it and says that, “he has been inspired and encourages all men to do the same. Greg talks the talk and he walks the walk. You won’t be disappointed.”
27 Years Left: The Brutal Math of Middle Age
By Greg Scheinman
The Brutal Math of Middle Age
Here’s the part nobody likes to say out loud. When men in their 40s and 50s start throwing around phrases like “it’s never too late,” it’s usually because deep down, they know the clock is running faster than they want to admit.
Let me give you some numbers that shook me up:
Only 28.3 percent of men over 18 meet the recommended guidelines for exercise. That means most of us are physically falling apart in plain sight.
Over a third of men are overweight. That doesn’t even include the obese category. We’re literally wearing the proof of our bad choices.
Middle-aged men are dying by suicide nearly four times more often than women. This isn’t just about being unhappy. For too many, it’s about not making it at all.
The life expectancy gap between men and women has stretched to nearly six years, the biggest difference in a generation. We’re shortening our own lives with neglect and bad habits.
Financially, the picture doesn’t look much better. Less than half of American households have any retirement savings. Only a quarter have more than $100,000 saved. More than half report having nothing set aside for the future.
This is the reality most guys refuse to face. I tend to work with a different group. I call them the 3M guys: Miserable Midlife Millionaires.
The men who’ve won on paper but feel like they’ve lost in life.
That’s my lane. That’s where I help.
The Delusion That Keeps Us Stuck
We tell ourselves all kinds of things to avoid the truth. We say we’ll start tomorrow. We convince ourselves that watching motivational videos counts as actual motivation. We buy the book but never read it. We plan to hit the gym but somehow never go.
We confuse consuming information with creating change. Listening to someone talk about how they stopped drinking isn’t the same as quitting yourself. Watching someone do pushups isn’t building your strength. Reading about entrepreneurs doesn’t grow your bank account.
We’ve become spectators in our own lives. We sit on the sidelines, watching other people improve while our bodies break down, our bank accounts shrink, and our relationships fade.
The Window is Smaller Than You Think
At 47, I ran the numbers that most men avoid. If I’m lucky, I’ve got 25 to 30 productive years left. That is, if my heart holds up, if cancer doesn’t creep in, if I don’t become one of the many statistics about men dying younger than women.
The cancer death rate for men is significantly higher than for women. One in eight of us will face a prostate cancer diagnosis at some point. Those 25 or 30 years sound long, but the last few decades already passed in the blink of an eye.
And those aren’t years spent in peak condition. Nine out of ten older adults have at least one chronic illness. Most have more than one. If you’re already out of shape at 50, you don’t have the luxury of easing into fitness. Your testosterone is dropping, your joints are stiff, your metabolism is slower. Every year you stall makes the climb steeper.
If your finances are a mess at 45, slow and steady investing doesn’t work the way it does for someone in their twenties. By age 50, you should have saved several times your annual salary. Most men haven’t even managed to save one year’s worth.
And if you have the money but feel empty, you’ve just confirmed what we all know deep down. Money alone doesn’t fix much.
The Consumption Trap
We love the feeling of progress more than actual progress. I’ve been there. I spent money on gym memberships I never used, bought books that collected dust, signed up for courses I never finished. I’ve listened to hours of productivity podcasts while accomplishing nothing. I’ve watched YouTube videos about getting fit while getting softer around the edges.
That isn’t growth. That’s avoidance with a self-help label slapped on top.
The Mirror Always Tells the Truth
The only thing standing between you and the life you want is the man staring back at you.
Take a real look. Not the glance you give while brushing your teeth. A real, honest assessment.
Here’s what I see when I do it. A guy who coasted on potential for too long. Who let excuses pile up while the years slipped by. Who believed tomorrow was guaranteed but never took the steps to make tomorrow better than today.
The truth hurts. But it also wakes you up.
The Small Start That Changes Everything
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. It starts small.
Go for a walk as soon as you finish reading this. Put on your shoes and take the first step.
Pour one less drink tonight. Or none at all.
Pick up something heavy. A dumbbell, a backpack, a gallon of milk. It doesn’t matter what, as long as you move your muscles.
Save a dollar. Cancel a subscription you forgot you had. Skip the overpriced coffee. Put the money aside.
Show up for your family. Leave work early and make it to your kid’s game.
Here’s what I’ve learned. If you read this, nod along, and then fall back into scrolling or binging shows, you’ve already chosen comfort over change.
The longer you stay in that cycle, the harder it becomes to break.
The Choice You Have Right Now
There’s a fork in the road sitting in front of you. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Right now.
Decide how you want the second half of your life to feel. Think about how you’ll actually spend your time when the career slows down and your kids are grown. Hobbies, passions, health, peace of mind. It doesn’t magically fall into place unless you put in the work now.
You can keep sitting on the sidelines watching other people build the life you want. Or you can get off the bench and back in the game.
There will always be an excuse not to start. You can choose to start anyway.
What Happens If You Don’t
If you ignore this, nothing improves. Fast forward a few years and you’ll be 55, then 60, then 65 wondering where the time went.
Your health, finances, and relationships will all feel heavier. You’ll be the guy at the high school reunion who looks 10 years older than everyone else. You’ll still be grinding away at work because you didn’t save enough to stop. You’ll be the guy whose kids don’t call because you were always too busy.
You’ll be the cautionary tale.
But you’re better than that and you can start proving it to yourself right now.
Grab your sneakers. Take that walk. It all starts with the first step.
In Health,
Greg
Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.
Midlife Lately:
I can’t believe this year is halfway done…
What a month…Our youngest son graduated high school. We sent him to Europe for three weeks with his best friends and I loved getting all the pictures and videos from him. He just got home this weekend. I was in Denver to speak at a Founders Club Only event and my older son got to join, see me in action and meet some amazing people. We then headed to Boulder, where he lives and will be starting his senior year at Colorado.
We hiked, plunged in the creek, and I got to take him and his friends out to dinner and then to the bar and shoot some pool. I was holding my own in the cool dad department right up until I scratched on the eight ball in front of 6 of his fraternity brothers.
Then it was off to Jackson Hole for my fourth 29029; you’ll read all about it this Sunday. My wife Kate & I then stopped in Denver on our way home, caught Metallica with our son (neither of them really wanted to go, but I insisted that it’s a rite of passage) and then another few days in Boulder to relax and recover.
Become an MLM Live Founding Member Today
I’m most excited about the new MLM Live Launch, it’s our way of bringing you guys into the interviews I do each week. No more passively listening to podcast. No more over-edited, scripted conversation you can’t participate in.
MLM Live is your chance to be in the virtual room where our MLM cover stories happen and you get to experience it all: raw, real and unedited. The best part? We save the last 15 minutes for your questions.
As a Founding MLM LIve Member, you’ll simply get an email with the date, time and zoom link for all my upcoming interviews and you can join in. Couldn’t be easier.
But we’re capping the membership at 100 readers to make sure every Founding Member can participate. Spots are filling up much faster than we anticipated, so grab yours here:
