ONE
Forget our big cities, our National Parks are the most impressive real estate we have in the United States. As a family, we’ve spent the last five summers visiting them: Glacier. Grand Tetons. Yellowstone. Grand Canyon. Bryce Canyon. Zion. Rocky Mountain. Each one is impressive and unique in its own right. It is so easy to get wrapped up in your day-to-day in your hometown. Family. Work. Kids. Sports. Exercise. And it’s easy to get sucked into the online discourse from the big cities. But America is a HUGE place and most of it is wild. Like, old school, uninhabited wilderness. Mountains. Ravines. Canyons. Rivers. Valleys. Desert. Forest. Wherever you live, you can visit a park that is almost the complete opposite of your region. Go there. Take the kids. Hike. Drive for hours through nothing. You’ll appreciate how vast and beautiful this country is.
TWO
I hate paying taxes. You hate paying taxes. There’s so much waste, stupid spending and fraud we can’t keep track. However, the one place where I’m happy to report that our tax dollars are well spent is our national parks. They are clean, impeccable, well laid-out, well-kept, well-monitored and a pleasure to take your family. From the plaques throughout explaining the geology and wildlife to the restrooms, aid stations, water stations, trail markings, explanations of the trails, free pamphlets, friendly rangers and even free shuttles in some places to move you around the park, whatever tiny percent of our tax dollars are spent on the upkeep of our parks is well worth it. At each park, someone who clearly cared laid out the public services with families and hikers in mind and it shows. Bryce Canyon, the Grand Canyon and Zion, in particular, are incredible. Kudos to the National Parks Service.
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THREE
Every guy wants to “unplug from everything” until you’re driving through the desert in 103 degree summer heat, with no cell service and a rented car with your whole family inside haha. During our trip, I drove a combined 17 hours through three states across 6 lodges and hotels and much of that time was between the parks, in the middle of nowhere, with our phones on SOS and no town for forty miles. The entire time I was driving, in the back of my mind, all I kept thinking was, “okay, if we break down now, I can hike twelve miles back to that town and get help”…. It’s a male burden that we must bear haha. Thankfully, the rental car held up, but the day we turned it in felt like I was dropping off a hundred pound bag of mental bricks.
FOUR
This one hurts to say but it’s true: we are a wildly overweight and out-of-shape country. Yes, you can see it at your local mall or Walmart or sideline of your kid’s sports, but it’s more apparent at National Parks because the entire experience is hiking and walking and way too many grown men labor to do both.
When we first started going you may see one parent who was obese or close to it while the other was merely out of shape and the kids were healthy and running around. Lately, and specifically the last three years, I’ve noticed more and more entire families who are heavy. It’s beyond sad. So many guys leading families are just big bellies balancing on thick legs. And worse, they’ve got kids already packing on thirty or forty extra pounds. I can’t count how many times we saw guys stopping at the head of trails, or before minor elevations to viewpoints, laughing that they’d “pass out if they tried that”, then turning around or sitting while the kids went ahead. I have no answers beyond the basics: eat whole foods, exercise regularly and don’t drink calories. Clearly, this isn’t the baseline for a large percentage of American men and it’s a bummer. Get. In. Shape.
FIVE
Here’s another hard fact: Americans are a minority in our national parks. I’ve seen it for a half-decade no matter where we go. We’re an incredible country and we obviously want tourists to come and spend their money here and see how incredible we are. But other than a few individual parks, you will hear foreign languages spoken as much or more than English. I suppose it’s expected, with how big of a worldwide attraction some of these places are, but walk around the rim of the Grand Canyon and you will be surrounded by foreigners. I’ve been to Disney and Universal recently (somewhat comps in terms of world attractions) and it’s not close. Americans still dominate those parks. On the National Park level, we need to up our numbers. I could be wrong, but I think most people simply don’t think of doing these parks as trips and they can’t grasp how much pride they’ll feel when they walk through them. This is your country. Get out there and explore it.
SIX
Dads are awesome. Every dad on these road trips is dealing with the exact same set of circumstances: travel stress, checking in and out of lodges, long drives, long hikes, figuring out meals, figuring out bathrooms, dealing with kids being annoyed or bored or fighting or both… And when you see another dad in the thick of it, you just nod to each other. No words need to be spoken. We know the family will have great memories from the trip. We know all the small fights and pressures and tweaking each other will fade away with time. But in the moment, it ain’t easy. Dads know. And sometimes it’s a quick nod to each other in solidarity that gets you through the moment.
SEVEN
Alone time is precious as a grown man, especially when you’re sharing a car, room and hikes with your family (teens, in particular) for a few weeks straight. You gotta protect it. My strategy on these trips is to take solo walks in the mornings. Just twenty minutes or so to clear my head with nobody asking me any questions or needing anything. Fresh air. My thoughts. Movement. Once I do that I can reset for the day. If I have enough time for a quick outdoor workout, just some push-ups and jogging, so be it. But really, I just need that quiet walk and a cup of black coffee to set me straight.
EIGHT
Greg and I talk about this all the time, but I implore you, when you’re on a road trip, ditch the highways when you can for food. Drive through the small town. Forget about Wendy’s or Mickey D’s and roll through a local main street and I PROMISE YOU that you’ll find an amazing meal. Could be a diner. Could be a burger spot. Could be a random ice cream place. Doesn’t matter. But get off the main road and explore for a bit. Our hidden gem on this trip was finding a place called Big John’s Texas Barbeque on a side street in Page, Arizona. Absolutely top tier brisket, sausage and ribs.
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Jon Finkel
Editor-in-Chief, Midlife Male
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