This weekend was our 2nd Midlife Male Excellent Adventure weekend. Technically, it’s our fourth, because I took some guys to Breckenridge 3 years ago and then to Aspen two years ago, but those were more “let me see if I’m cut out for this” type of things, so these events became officially branded with Midlife Male last year.

These are not coaching events. They’re not masterminds.  They’re designed for us to have fun, challenge ourselves physically and do cool shit with cool guys. That’s it. These are all things I want more of in my life and that I think many of you want as well.

The good news is we’re going to do more of it because we had a great time.

We ate well all weekend, starting with a welcome dinner at a great restaurant. Guys dropped into conversation naturally over steaks and seafood on Friday night, then we got up early and trained all day Saturday beginning with breathwork, mobility sessions and followed by XPT Pool Training led by a professional coach.

Then we had a delicious lunch outside, a competitive afternoon training session with races and contests, contrast therapy, a short fireside chat to celebrate the release of my friend and doctor Keshav Grover’s new book, followed by an epic live fire grilled dinner and the most amazing roasted banana coconut & corn cake I’ve ever had. That night I slept like a baby. Just about every guy at the event said they fell asleep, happy and exhausted before 9PM – that’s how you know you had a great day.

These are the days worth living. They’re full. They’re invigorating. They’re fun.  These are the days that I’m proud to tell my sons and friends about.

On Sunday morning, as I was driving to pick up the guys from their hotel and begin our final day of the weekend, I was dictating some notes into my voice recorder about what I was feeling and learning from the weekend that I wanted to share with you:

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1. Start something. Anything. If you have an idea, whether it be for a business, a weekend like this, a guys night out dinner series, a walking club, an adventure weekend… Just do it. Announce it before it’s ready.  Some people will say yes. Some will say no. But no matter how small it starts, it’s better than not starting at all. The lesson isn’t “plan better.” It’s start now.  As Jon said during our lunch Saturday, “we’re just two guys who thought this would be an awesome weekend and we wanted to see if anyone else would join us. Now we’ve got twelve of us hauling 55-lb ruck sacks at the bottom of a twelve foot pool having a blast and it’s awesome.” I couldn’t agree more.

2. You’re capable of more than you think. So much of this weekend was perfectly imperfect. The move that was poorly executed on day one, you had dialed in by the end. The depth of the water you didn’t think you’d get to — you felt great in by afternoon. The willingness to try is everything. Stop worrying about appearances. Stop worrying about optics. Go do the thing as best you can, and commit to getting better at it. Men in midlife tend to underestimate themselves and overestimate their limitations. This weekend proved the opposite. You get in the water, you figure it out, and by the afternoon you’re comfortable at a depth you didn’t think was possible. That’s a metaphor for everything. Also, as soon as one guy “gets it”, he quickly helps another guy “get it”. A rising tide lifts all boats.

3. Put yourself out there. Buy the ticket. Register for the event. Volunteer at the experience. Fly across the country. Drive yourself there. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s different. You might have to go alone. But you’ll never regret taking a shot. In every experience I’ve had, every time I’ve gone somewhere alone, I never left alone. Some of the best relationships in my life came from going to events by myself and meeting people there. Showing up alone is a superpower, not a weakness. Going somewhere solo isn’t sad, it’s actually how you meet people and build real relationships. The guys who waited for a friend to come with them weren’t there.

4. We’re all better together. I have all sorts of ideas.  Then I run them by Jon, Kirk, Kate, my kids, the people in my circle, and every time we go ahead and do one of them, everyone who comes together makes the experience better. This weekend was a beautiful intersection of guys I’ve done amazing things with in the past and guys who I’d never met before. There’s a comfort in that: everyone was a first-timer at some point. The veterans keep showing up, keep trying new things, and the new guys arrive asking the same questions,  and by the end, they’re already asking what’s next.

5. The “what’s next” comes with responsibility. Underneath that question is an understanding: to be part of what’s next, you have to keep doing the work in between. You don’t want to show up as the guy who lost a step. You don’t want to show up unprepared. This weekend should inspire you, to keep up, to keep going, knowing that next year, Evan, Michael, Rich, Brendan, all of them are going to be back. And they’re going to be just as great. It doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It doesn’t mean there won’t be setbacks. We will age another year. But this is the commitment: to keep living our lives as the best versions of ourselves. To be proud of the men we are,  and the men we’re still becoming. The work between events is where the real commitment lives. “What’s next?” is easy to say on a Saturday when you’re fired up. The harder question is what you do on a random Tuesday in February when nobody’s watching. That’s what earns your seat at the next one.

6. Simplicity scales. Complexity fails. You don’t need an exotic location. You don’t need a lot of money. You don’t need a large group. Simple movement. Simple breath. Simple mobility. Simple workouts. Clean food. Go to bed tired, wake up with energy. These are the basic building blocks of a foundationally stable, healthy, happy, and fun life. You may not have Laird Hamilton guiding you through breathwork, but you have an app. You may not have a multilevel pool, but you have a Y, a local gym, a lane to swim in. A pair of dumbbells. We’re out of excuses. Simplicity is the discipline, not the fallback. Most men think they need more,  more gear, more money, more people, a better location. This weekend disproves that. Simple food, simple movement, simple breath. That’s the formula. The complexity we keep adding is usually just a delay tactic.

7. The thing is the thing. The pool training weekend was the thing. The skyline traverse hike was the thing. A pickleball round-robin tournament is the thing. Stop thinking it has to be all of the things or that there are so many things out there, that you can’t choose which one.  Pick one.  More is not better. Sit in it. Go do the thing. Return from the thing. Check the box. Then look ahead to what the next thing is. Commitment to one thing beats dabbling in everything. Pick the thing. Do the thing. This applies to weekends, to health, to business, to relationships. The inability to choose is what keeps most men stuck, not lack of options.

8. Everyone has a story. Listen to it. Ask questions. Be curious. Be interested, and be interesting. Those are two unique and distinct characteristics. Don’t confuse them, and don’t underestimate either one. Most men are neither, because they’ve stopped asking questions and stopped doing things worth talking about.

If you’re curious about how this weekend went, check out Jon wrote a quick post about it showing off his double underwater backflip with dumbbells.

Then make plans to join us next year!

In Health, 

Greg Scheinman

Founder, Midlife Male

Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.

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