I saw something this week that stopped me cold.
It was brought to my attention by my friend Cody Jefferson—who’s been a guest on the Midlife Male podcast and, like me, is committed to helping men show up with integrity. After hearing his reaction, I went and found the video. Not to pile on. But because I wanted to see for myself what’s being passed off as leadership these days.
I won’t post it. I won’t name names. I’m not here to generate more likes, comments, or traffic for this “influencer”. That’s part of the problem. And frankly, who did it doesn’t matter as much as what it represents. Really want to know? That’s why we’ve got the inner circle.
Here’s what I saw: A father marching his teenage daughters onto a stage. Dressed up. Made up. Instructed to pose. Flex. Smile. For an audience. For an algorithm. For an agenda.
All under the banner of discipline, fatherhood, and pride.
But make no mistake—this wasn’t about fatherhood. This was about optics. Control. Positioning. And profit.
And this guy’s 44 years old and talking about how it’s his responsibility to help the younger guys…
When we talk about maximizing middle age, this ain’t it…
What’s worse—it’s being done to bully, shame, and intimidate. To send a message, subtle or not, to families, to parents, to fathers, and to kids themselves:
If you’re not this—you’re not enough.
And that message? It’s not just false. It’s dangerous. It’s abhorrent.
When we talk about maximizing middle age, it’s about punching the bully in the nose.
Because just being jacked, ripped, or stage-ready—at any age—is not the singular definition of success. Strength is not always visible. Value isn’t measured in vascularity. And confidence doesn’t require a spotlight.
And I’m fucking jacked, at 52…And I think you’re full of shit.
When you use your platform to prey on the insecure, the uneducated, the undereducated, the easily influenced—when you package shame as motivation and manipulate young people into becoming marketing material—you’re not leading. You’re exploiting.
You’re not doing it in service of others. You’re doing it to prosper.
Not selflessly.
Selfishly.
The data speaks louder than any flexed photo:
- 57% of teenage girls report feeling persistently sad or hopeless.
- 1 in 3 has seriously considered suicide.
- 95% of eating disorder diagnoses occur between the ages of 12 and 25.
- 70% of girls report withdrawing from daily life because of body shame.
- By age 17, nearly 9 in 10 girls have dieted.
- Girls who spend more than 3 hours a day on social media are twice as likely to develop symptoms of disordered eating or body dysmorphia.
This isn’t parenting. This isn’t leadership. It’s brand-building with your kids’ bodies as bait.
And if we as fathers, coaches, or content creators stand by and say nothing—then we’re complicit in it.
At Midlife Male, we champion a different path. One grounded in self-respect, transparency, values, and strength that doesn’t rely on stage lights or filters. We believe in showing up for your kids—not showing them off to validate yourself. And we believe in raising the bar—not in weaponizing it against those still trying to find their footing.
These are the kinds of raw, honest conversations we have in the Midlife Mail Inner Circle. If this hit a nerve, if you want to be part of a community where men lead with character—not coercion—that’s the place to join us.
Not everything belongs on display.
Some things deserve to be protected, honored, and held sacred—not sold.
