I’m gonna cure the so-called “midlife male loneliness epidemic” in about five seconds:
Get off your ass.
Go meet some people.
Do the things you actually want to do.
Loneliness is laziness.
That’s it. We don’t have a loneliness problem. We have a laziness problem. There are no lonely men, only men unwilling to solve their problems.
Here’s the truth: everything you want already exists. And if it doesn’t exist the way you want it, you can start it. You can build it.
I know, because I lived it.
For years I felt lonely, even though I had plenty of “friends,” colleagues, social circles, other dads from school, little league, and the constant grind of alcohol-fueled business dinners. I was surrounded, but I was empty. Why? Because I was doing the wrong things with the wrong people.
When I decided to get healthy, I invited guys over on Sundays to work out. Who did I invite? The same guys who were out late drinking, the dads from school, guys I worked with. Why? Because that was all I knew. But they never showed. Not once.
For a while I thought it was me. Maybe I wasn’t well liked. Maybe I was different. Maybe nobody wanted to do this stuff with me. I had a choice: go back to the lifestyle I was trying to leave behind, or train in my garage alone.
Then I realized I had a third choice: put myself out there.
I went to yoga. Pilates. CrossFit. Pool workouts. Boot camps. And guess what? I met people. People who wanted the same things I did. People making the same changes. Suddenly, I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Over time I started saying, “CrossFit’s closed on Sunday, why don’t you come over and we’ll train?” And they came. That’s how my Sunday crew was born. That’s how loneliness gets cured.
Jason Khalipa told me the same thing. His men’s group started with one guy in his garage. Now he’s hauling equipment at 5 a.m. to train with 50 guys in the park. That’s the playbook: one guy at a time, one week at a time.
It might take 20 weeks to get 20 guys. Maybe five is the right number. Quality over quantity. What matters is that you keep showing up.
This past Saturday I went to a friend’s event: workouts, mobility, sauna, cold plunge, dinner. He hoped for 15–20 people. Three showed: me, a buddy I brought, and one other. And it was awesome. We trained, talked, ate, connected. He appreciated us showing up. We appreciated him putting it on. Next time maybe it’s six. Then seven. That’s how momentum builds.
Another friend is a seven-figure keynote speaker. He’s used to thousands in the audience. He put together a free online workshop, promoted it, and got 50 RSVPs. You know how many showed up live? Four. And he delivered to those four like they were 4,000. That’s what pros do. That’s what leaders do.
I’ve gotten into rucking. I love it. It’s incredible for overall health, longevity, and sustainability. I’m launching signature sunrise rucks at our Midlife Male event in Miami, then leading a 3-miler at Eudemonia Summit, then joining XPT and 30 other guys in Sedona for a ruck marathon. For 2026 I want monthly rucks in Houston. I couldn’t find a group, so I called my contact at GORUCK and said, “Let’s do something.” If there’s something I want that doesn’t exist, I’ll create it and invite guys to join me.
So stop telling me there’s a loneliness problem. There’s a laziness problem.
If you’re lonely, it’s on you. The cure is simple: find it or start it. Show up. Stay consistent. Build it one person, one week at a time.
That’s how it works.
In Health,
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Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
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