One of the most significant things I’ve done to strengthen my relationship with my 21-year-old son, who’s away at college, is establishing our weekly Monday FaceTime. This isn’t just a check-in; it’s our chance to have an honest, face-to-face, man-to-man conversation. I don’t mind where he’s calling from or what time it happens, but I need to see his actual face, look him in the eye, and get a real update on his life. Each call revolves around three main questions: How are your grades? How are you feeling, mentally and physically? Are you holding down your job?
Through the “Scheinman Family Scholarship,” I cover 100% of his tuition, rent, dues, and other expenses. In return, he has to maintain a 3.0 GPA, stay active—whether that’s through the gym, intramural sports, or snowboarding—and work a part-time job. The job isn’t just about making money; it’s about the responsibility and insight it brings. He’s had experience working in a restaurant and now referees intramural sports, learning firsthand what it’s like to have a boss, manage time, and serve others.
These Monday calls are more than a parental check-in; they’re a ritual that keeps us connected and ensures he’s accountable. By requiring him to take these conversations seriously, I’m not only fostering responsibility but also reinforcing our bond and showing him that I’m invested in both his present and future. It’s a weekly commitment, a time to reset and connect, and perhaps one of the best decisions I’ve made to stay close with him as he navigates his own journey.
*Don’t have a kid in college yet? Have a kid who’s already graduated and in the “real world”…This still applies. Set a weekly in person or facetime regardless of age or stage. This doesn’t mean it’s your only time to talk throughout the week, it simply means that there’s one dedicated weekly time where we have an actual conversation with an agenda.
