I was introduced to today’s guest, former Navy SEAL Rich Diviney, by my good friend Paul Epstein. Paul is an author and speaker who is making a massive impact in his own right, and like Rich, he has a gift for connecting with people. That’s how these things happen. You are a product of your network.
When Paul told me I needed to connect with Rich, I knew it was going to be special. I wasn’t wrong. Rich joined me for an incredible conversation about his life, his service as a Navy SEAL, and the lessons he has carried into midlife. We talked about his two books, The Attributes and his newest, Masters of Uncertainty, and we dug into his perspective on leadership, growth, and performance.
What strikes me most about men like Rich is the mindset of the humble warrior. They commit fully to becoming the best version of themselves. They do not cut corners. They do not chase attention. They live with integrity, discipline, and pride. There is a simplicity to it that feels out of place in today’s culture of shortcuts, excuses, and optics over intention.
Rich developed his expertise in human performance during more than twenty years in the U.S. military. He completed thirteen deployments overseas and held multiple leadership roles. As the officer in charge of assessment and training for a specialized SEAL command, he helped shape one of the most demanding selection processes in the world. He also created a mental performance program that emphasized physical, mental, and emotional discipline to help operators perform faster, longer, and more effectively in every environment, especially under stress.
Rich is a model of leadership, consistency, and purpose. He believes in substance over style, in process over posturing, and in actions that create outcomes. He continues to evolve through every stage of life.
This is a conversation about what it really takes. Not the highlight reel. Not the social media soundbite. But the daily work, the mindset, and the discipline to show up.
On Attributes:
“It’s not necessarily the ones that you need, it’s the ones that you have. We all have all 41 of these attributes. The difference in each one of us is the level to which we have each.”
On Mastering Uncertainty:
“Part of mastering uncertainty is understanding where we fall on that attribute list. If I know I’m really high on adaptability and decisiveness, but low on patience and resilience, that’s going to show up in certain ways, not only in everyday life, but especially during uncertainty, challenge, and stress.”
On Honest Self-Assessment:
“An honest interrogation of where we were and how we performed during stress, challenge, and uncertainty can begin to give us some indications on where we fall on some of these attributes.”
On Vulnerability:
“The starting point for any of us is to get vulnerable. That means getting vulnerable with ourselves, and perhaps even with others who know us well, because that vulnerability requires some humility.”
On Humility:
“Vulnerability and humility are defined in the highest performing teams as being transparent about your strengths and your weaknesses.”
On Growth and Challenge:
“Growth and evolution as a human being comes from taking on challenges. It comes from the ability and the action of stepping outside of our comfort zone.”
On Taking Risks:
“At the end of the day, risk is what it’s going to take. If we can find joy in the struggle and in the journey and the challenge of a new goal, that’s what allows us to switch and find what we love.”
On Identity:
“The words ‘I am’ are the two most powerful words in the human language, because whatever you put after those two words shapes your identity and your behavior.”
On Evolving Identity:
“We are not the same people we were in our 20s. We always evolve,.”
On High Performance:
“High performance is not equal to extreme performance. I define high performance as someone or a group of people who perform not only when things are going great, but also when things are not going great.”
On Comparison:
“When you are a Navy SEAL, you no longer compare yourself to other people. That is a superpower that is accessible to anybody.”
On Finding Your Niche:
“It behooves us to lift our hood and figure out what kind of vehicle we are, because the friction in our lives might be because we’ve been a Jeep trying to run on a Ferrari track this whole time, or vice versa.”
On Small Steps:
“My sense is that the step into discomfort is the first step we take. I’m going to try something new. The good news is it doesn’t have to be extreme. It doesn’t have to be a career change right away.”
On Creativity and Innovation:
“Creativity as an attribute is the ability to create something or bring something into existence that otherwise didn’t exist. Innovativeness is the ability to take something currently in existence and make it better or change it. These attributes are different because they can live independently of each other.”
On Relationships:
“One of the most important things about maintaining our health is relationships. We have to have relationships in our lives, and especially as middle agers, it’s good for men to have male friends.”
On Mental Toughness:
“I would say it’s mental, not physical. There are loads of cases where Division One athletes go to SEAL training and quit the first day. It’s honestly 90% mental.”
On Practicing Hard Things:
“Every time I get in the ice bath, I don’t want to get in. It’s a mental drill. It’s not only a physiological drill; it actually helps you mentally understand how to do tough stuff.”
On Reframing Aging:
“Completely reframe what you said: the best times of my life are ahead of me, not behind me. I sincerely believe some of my best experiences are still ahead, and I’m excited and working towards that.”
On Planning for the Future:
“I envision building a business that spreads and reaches as many people as possible, so I can help as many people as possible. Meanwhile, that’s providing an income that allows my wife and me to travel the world together and do things.”
On Universal Relevance:
“I think human beings are my audience because, honestly, the book has now been out only a few weeks, and I’ve gotten feedback from 80-year-old women, 19-year-old nursing students, guys wanting to go to the military, people in professions, and people who have cancer. These are techniques that are entirely human, and I’m very pleased that the ideas are very ubiquitous.”
In health,
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Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
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