Progress is a process, not a price

I received an email that caused me to look at where I am now, and where I was when I first started my midlife male transformation. In other words, take a good, hard, long look in the mirror.

While I now sometimes share experiences that involve higher-end products or more exclusive events, my core message remains unchanged: transformation is inclusive and accessible to anyone, anywhere.

It’s not about the price tag. It’s about the willingness to take the first step, and then the next.

It’s not just about where I am today, but about how I got here. It’s about showing that significant and lasting change can emerge from small, simple actions.

Maximizing middle age is fundamentally rooted in the belief that progress is a process. Each day’s disciplined actions, though they may seem trivial, simple or even boring at the moment, are vital steps toward evolution and growth, which are essential to happiness.

Every experience I share, every product I mention, comes with a backstory of trials, errors and lessons learned. My aim is not to prescribe a lifestyle, but to offer tools and tales and share experiences from which you can draw inspiration and find your own path forward.

• I started with cold showers. Now I have a cold plunge.

• I started walking around the park. Now I climb 29029.

• I started doing push-ups, squats and sit-ups. Now I have a home gym.

• I started writing while I was trapped in an unfulfilling job. Now I get to do this full-time.

The truth is that all of these things have taken years to become part of my life and even longer to earn enough to become part of my lifestyle.

Transformation is not a moment or a destination, but a process itself.

It’s a series of choices that you make every day about how you live, how you respond to challenges, and how you prioritize your health and wellbeing: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. It’s all connected, and it all matters.

I see progress as a process, not a price.

So here are 9 process steps to help you make progress.

1. Set Small, Achievable Goals

Begin with clear, manageable objectives. If your goal is to get healthier, start by incorporating a 10-minute walk into your daily routine or a-30 minute workout 3x per week. Small goals are less daunting and build the momentum necessary for larger successes. You may just end up climbing the equivalent of Mount Everest 3 years later.

2. Maintain a Consistent Routine

The power of habit cannot be overstated. By establishing a routine, you’re less likely to need to rely on constant decision-making or willpower. Schedule your new tasks like any other important activity, and stick to it. You may just end up writing 250 consecutive newsletters.

3. Reflect Regularly

Take time each week to reflect on what you’ve accomplished and where you’ve faced challenges. This reflection will not only provide you with the opportunity to celebrate small victories, but also allow you to adjust your strategies as needed. You may just end up with enough material to write your first book.

4. Seek Incremental Improvement

Instead of aiming for a drastic transformation overnight, focus on making small improvements regularly. This could be learning something new each day, slightly increasing your exercise intensity or dedicating a few more minutes to mental health practices. You may just end up in the best shape of your life.

5. Foster Resilience

Embrace setbacks as part of the process. Each failure is a lesson in disguise and provides invaluable insights into what works and what doesn’t. Resilience builds through overcoming obstacles, not avoiding them. You may just end up being able to sit in a 40-degree cold plunge for 3 minutes.

6. Celebrate Progress

Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This can be as simple as acknowledging your effort, treating yourself to something special or sharing your progress with friends and family. Celebration reinforces positive behavior and keeps you motivated. You may just end up having more fun than you’ve ever had in life.

7. Stay Connected

Share your journey with others. Whether it’s friends, family or an online community, being part of a network can provide encouragement, accountability and support. Sometimes, just knowing others are there can make all the difference. You may just end up having your own Inner Circle.

8. Keep Learning

Stay curious and keep learning. Whether it’s reading books, watching documentaries or attending workshops, continuous learning fuels your mind and inspires change. It also keeps the process interesting and dynamic. You may just end up interviewing and interacting with some of your idols.

9. Prioritize Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself throughout the process. Change is hard and expecting perfection from yourself is counterproductive. Practice self-compassion, understanding that progress is not always linear. You may just end up a better person, partner and parent.

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The way I made these changes in my life is something that every man is capable of. It requires daily discipline. Nike got it right when they said “Just do it.” There’s no other secret or shortcut.

The truth is that I went from living a life of superficial success to a midlife of genuine fulfillment by adhering to these principles. It’s not been a quick or easy process, nor will it be for you or anyone else.

It’s involved years of consistent effort, countless missteps, mistakes, sleepless nights and gradual advancements. The purpose of sharing my story is to demonstrate that transformation is possible at any stage in life, with any set of resources.

This isn’t about defending my choices or making assumptions or judgements about any of yours, but rather illustrating that growth and progress are processes. They take time, effort and, most importantly, perseverance.

I share these experiences not to alienate or motivate, but to inspire—to show that what I’ve achieved is within the reach of anyone willing to start small and stay consistent. And I’m still just getting started.

Transformation doesn’t require grand gestures or significant investments. It just requires the courage to start and the persistence to continue.

So, to the reader who reached out with your thoughtful critique, and to all of you reading today, I want you to know that I hear you.

More importantly, I see you. I am you.

We are all walking this path together, each of us at different stages but with the same destination in mind: A midlife lived fully, richly and with intention.

Let’s keep walking this path together, building our resilience, reclaiming our health and redefining what it means to maximize middle age, not by fixating on expenditures but through everyday actions that are within reach of us all.