Social media makes me feel like crap and I’m tired of it. Many of you probably feel the same way. For me, “social media” means spending a little time on LinkedIn and a lot of time on Instagram. But starting this week, I’m drastically reducing the number of people, brands, and products I follow because I’m sick of consuming things that don’t add real value to my life.

At some point, you have to take responsibility for what you’re allowing into your head every single day.

And if I’m being honest, I have to admit, I allowed myself to get sucked into the vortex. I told myself I was there to engage, to learn, to support people, and to put out content for my “followers.” But if I strip that down to the truth, there was also a part of me chasing validation. I was watching the likes, refreshing for comments, measuring my worth in engagement metrics. 

I read that back to myself now and it sounds ridiculous, but it’s real. And none of it really amounts to anything meaningful.

My theme this year is ‘focus’. And nothing fractures focus like doom scrolling. It breaks your attention into a thousand pieces and leaves you thinking you were productive when all you did was consume.

On our weekly editorial call with Jon, Ben, and Eric, I joked that I’d like to get to a place where I’m not following more accounts than my age. If I’m 53, I should follow 53 accounts. They immediately called me out and said I couldn’t do it. They’re probably right. I can’t do it yet. But I want to. And the call forced me to take action.

At the time, I followed more than 630 accounts, which is embarrassing when you actually say it out loud. You meet someone and you follow them. You go to a restaurant and you follow it. You drop into a gym, click on an ad, listen to a podcast guest, and suddenly they’re in your feed. You don’t even remember making the decision. 

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Over time, you stop curating and start being fed. The algorithm takes the wheel, and you’re just along for the ride.

I went on a serious purge and got myself down to around 200 accounts. And even that number bothers me. If I were getting married tomorrow, there is no chance I could come up with 200 people I’d want at my wedding. So why am I giving 200 people daily access to my attention?

Here’s The Methodology I Used Cut Back:

I started with the obvious cuts: the accounts I rarely interacted with. Then I eliminated most of the brands, hotels, restaurants, and gyms. Apparently, I had followed every place I’d walked into over the last three years. After that came the influencers, the interchangeable “gamechanger” guys selling a new miracle every 90 days. Every supplement is revolutionary! Every gadget is life-changing! Every product is the one you can’t miss! It’s the same script on repeat. Boring.

Then came the more honest cuts. The hot girls. The modern-day version of the supermodel posters we had on our bedroom walls in the 90s. Nice to look at, but adding absolutely nothing to my life. I also unfollowed the courtesy follows, the accounts that never post but linger out of obligation. And finally, I unfollowed some genuinely good accounts. There was nothing wrong with them. I just didn’t care enough anymore.

That was the real test.

Here’s where I’ve landed: if I care about someone, I’ll call them. If I’m interested in a topic, brand, or product, I’ll seek it out intentionally. The amount of time I’ve lost to watches, cars, women, backyard fights, meaningless news, other people’s politics, and endless ads is staggering. And it’s shaping something, whether I admit it or not.

The fact is that we’re heavily influenced by what we consume. Repetition and frequency matter. Consistency builds muscle. It builds businesses. It builds marriages. It also builds distraction. And I’ve been extremely consistent on social media, just not in a way that serves me.

If I truly believe that I become what I repeatedly expose myself to, then I have to own what I’ve been repeatedly exposing myself to. Watches. Cars. Outrage. Politics. Ads disguised as solutions. Liposomal this. Mitochondrial that. The latest biohack that will change your life. “I’m looking for five guys who want to level up.” It’s noise masquerading as progress.

You can’t preach intentional living, discipline, and focus while letting your attention leak everywhere. 

Social media turns everything into commentary and outrage. It invites you into every fight. I don’t need to accept every invitation.

Arthur Brooks recently wrote in The Atlantic that the reflexive reach for a phone when we feel uneasy has become the modern uniform of anxiety. He compared using social media to manage stress to treating insomnia with sleeping pills laced with meth. That’s exactly what it feels like. It feels like connection. It feels like staying informed. It feels like engagement. But it’s self-soothing anxiety with something that ultimately makes you more anxious.

As I went through this purge, I caught myself wondering what I would criticize, what I would write about, and where I would get my news. The answer is simple. I’ll read real articles from real publications. I’ll research intentionally. I’ll spend more time studying, thinking, and being present with the people and experiences that actually matter.

Midlife is not the time to be dragged around by an algorithm. It’s the time to curate. To focus. To initiate instead of react. To call the people you care about. To seek out what you actually want to learn. To produce more than you consume.

I’m not at 53 accounts yet. But my circle is getting smaller on purpose. And the smaller it gets, the sharper I feel.

In Health, 

Greg Scheinman

Founder, Midlife Male

Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.

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