4 Questions to Ask Yourself

I didn’t go to that big event. You know the one—the kind with inspiring speakers, familiar faces, and the promise of transformation. The one everyone’s talking about, where you feel like you should be. And I’m okay with that.

Let me be clear: I thought about going. A lot. It was local. Friends were there. I’d probably learn something, connect with someone, get a spark of motivation. But I said no. Here’s why:

I’m tired. I’ve got personal stuff going on. Recently had some minor procedures and wasn’t up for crowds, cameras, or networking. I felt guarded, a little self-conscious. Plus, I’ve been to events like this. I live this lifestyle—coaching it, writing about it, interviewing high-performers. I’ve gone from fat to fit, drunk to sober, broke to financially free. I’m still learning, but my needs today aren’t what they were years ago.

At midlife, it’s less about chasing inspiration and more about executing what works. I’m refining systems, not searching for motivation. When I weighed the cost—time, energy, money—I asked myself hard questions:

  • What will I learn that I don’t already practice?
  • Am I better off sticking to what I know works?
  • Is this the best use of my time and resources?
  • Can I connect with these people more intentionally later?

That last one hit home. Instead of the event, I had dinner with friends in town. I rucked with a buddy. I went to lunch with Kate, spent time with Harper, hit the sauna, cold plunge, trained, made my protein smoothie. I was living the principles these events preach, not just listening to them.

This is for every midlife guy feeling pressure to do more, go more, be more. Big events can stress me out. I’m not always comfortable in those rooms, especially when I’ve got others on the horizon. So when I can, I stay grounded in my own environment. Saying no—even to something great—isn’t about missing out. It’s about discernment.

I’m the practical application guy. I take wellness out of the lab and into real life—balancing work, family, and health. I don’t need to be in every room to contribute to the conversation. And I don’t ask for free tickets or expect them. When I support friends, I pay full price—but we all have limits. You can’t drop thousands on every event, every time. That’s okay.

If you thrive in community settings, go. If you’re in a season of reinvention and need that energy, go. But don’t expect a business deal, an investor, or a speaking gig next year. Mismatched expectations breed disappointment.

For me, the best investment was reinforcing my foundation—staying consistent, being present with people who matter, protecting my time and energy. That’s growth. Sure, I second-guess myself. “Am I making the right call?” But I’m getting better at trusting my gut and not beating myself up when I’m wrong.

Midlife is about knowing yourself—evaluating, adjusting, refining. It’s not about proving anything. It’s about honoring what you need to live well, love well, and show up fully. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is say no. And that’s exactly what I did.

In Health,

Greg

midlifemale
midlifemale
Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach
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