“I think you just come into your own, which is at the heart of what has really developed for me this year and how I think about family, fitness, finance, food, fashion, fun and an unwillingness to compromise in those areas or to be influenced or coaxed into doing things that don’t really feel right for the lifestyle that I’ve designed.”
I’m looking for optimal, not optimized. There’s a difference. Optimal feels good enough. Content. Ambitious. Progressive, but not obsessive. It’s a belief system that says, “this is right for me.”
I didn’t agonize over writing the most profound piece for my birthday. I didn’t lose sleep over whether it was good enough or whether I was good enough. I just started writing, like I’ve done every week for the past six years. Sometimes it’s a hit song. Sometimes it’s just another track on the album. Younger me didn’t understand that.
It’s not that I don’t give a fuck. I do. I’m not even sure I give fewer fucks now. I just only care about the fucks I choose to give. That feels like wisdom.
I’m still a little all over the place. Because that’s what this time of life really is.
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The Middle Years: What Changed and What I Locked In
From 47 to 50, I made a lot of changes. I broke old rules. I built and tested new ones. I learned that breaking rules doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes it means you’re evolving.
From 50 to 53, not so much. I locked in. I stuck with what worked. I still added some firsts, but I stopped chasing change for the sake of change. Simple just makes more sense now.
There are standards and there are goals. Set them. Live by them. Success comes down to the actions you take and the choices you make. Make the better choice most of the time and most of your life gets better. I think about that daily. I look in the mirror and ask if I’m holding my standard. You always know.
Life has this surreal combination of it just kind of happening and you making it happen. Mostly, you stay in the game. Some days you’re motivated. Some days you rely on discipline. Some days you phone it in or go back to bed.
You can know all the right things, have opportunity and ability, and still not be willing to do what it takes. You always have a choice. Some of my best choices this year were admitting I wasn’t willing to do the work for certain paths and deciding not to start them at all.
Fitness and Health: Enough, Not Extreme
I found out I have colitis. It’s manageable.
I now check my blood pressure weekly. It’s great.
I took off all my trackers. I live a healthy lifestyle. I don’t need to major in the minors, and most of that data is easily manipulated anyway.
Physically, I did some hard things this year. I climbed the equivalent of Mount Everest in Jackson Hole. I hiked the 20 mile Skyline Traverse in Boulder. I did a 26.2 mile ruck marathon with a 20 pound ruck in Sedona. Added another HYROX.
I also dealt with an arm, shoulder, neck situation that still sucks. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I’m still trying to figure it out.
My net worth didn’t change. My net life did.
Things I’m Done With
- Watching people work out on social media, including myself
- Everything being called a game change
- Biohackers
- Trackers
- Status symbols
- People who tell you to live a little when you tell them you don’t drink
- Dave Portnoy
- Caffeine
- Writers using AI to write
- Anyone using AI to auto comment on LinkedIn or social media
- The galactic overuse of the word authentic and the phrase I’ll be honest with you
- Nobody being able to agree to disagree
- Counting calories or macros
- Antisemitism
- High-risk investment opportunities
- Texas summers
Money, Work, and Freedom
I really only like to do three or four things: Be with my family. Train. Write. Do cool shit with cool people. So how much do I really need for that?
I like iconic things. A classic 911. A Range Rover. A stainless steel Rolex Oyster Perpetual. That will happen around 55. No rush. I like what I like. That’s identity.
I’m sticking with vintage Levi’s 511s, Red Wing boots, and T-shirts as often as possible.
The one thing I want more of is to want less. We’re conditioned to want more. More money. More muscle. More clients. More experiences. What I actually want more of is time, freedom, discipline, health, love, laughter and yes, some more money. I joke, but truthfully, I don’t have a single problem another 500k a year wouldn’t solve. Not for happiness. For liquidity. To do epic shit and be more generous.
Which brings me back to the real question. Do I want to work that hard?
More clients. No.
More speaking. No.
More flights and ballrooms. No.
More brand deals. No. Just a few I truly love.
I’ve sought a lot of discomfort to get here. 53 is about more comfort, without avoiding hard things. It means choosing the discomfort I’m comfortable with.
Family, Love, and the Complicated Parts
Both boys are home for the holidays, which is also my birthday. I’m always happiest when the four of us are together. That said, I love the empty nester phase more than I thought I would.
Kate and I have space. The boys are doing their thing. We’re doing ours. Then we come back together. It’s also incredible watching them evolve into real young men. In my biased and objective opinion, really good humans.
I have two amazing dogs. One of them is throwing up on the floor right now as I write this at 5:31am, which is why I can’t get back to sleep. I’m waiting until around 7 to start pressing Kate for morning sex. Otherwise I have no chance.
I won’t receive birthday wishes from my brothers. That estrangement will likely be a lifelong regret. I’m more accepting of it now.
I have mom issues. I addressed some this year. Now I appreciate the good. We’re all doing our best.
I read that the best way to see who really cares about you is to improve yourself and watch how they respond. The ones who try to cut you down need to be cut out. That’s not fun, but it’s necessary.
Presence Over Performance
Doom scrolling is draining. Reducing it is a big focus for me.
I want to live more offline. Life is too big to miss. I’ll still share through Midlife Male, but more intentionally. I saw a friend on vacation last week who posted every moment. That’s not presence. That’s performance.
Living the moment beats documenting it. Some of the best things in life require full attention. Underwater. On a mountain. In the ring. At the kitchen table.
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Work, Partners, and the Messy Middle
I like and respect my partners. I’m still not great at communicating. I’m a shitty manager. I don’t like doing things that weren’t my idea. I’m not easy. I self-sabotage. I’m constantly torn between wanting to go big and wanting to go home.
And yet, we’re doing it. We’re really doing it. And growing fast. I’m deeply grateful for that.
The Foundational Truths
- Sleep six to eight hours
- Spend less than you earn
- Extend your runway
- Eat well most of the time
- Lift two to three days a week
- Do cardio and complementary movement
- Don’t major in the minors
- Get blood work done quarterly
- Supplement only what’s necessary
- Financial security
- Spend time with your family
- Have hobbies that fill your tank
- Recover well
- Small circle of close friends
- Don’t drink or smoke
These are the foundational elements of an excellent life. The hard part isn’t knowing. It’s doing it consistently without applause.
What’s boring isn’t the basics. What’s boring is hustle culture, hacks, shortcuts, and talking endlessly about problems while doing nothing to solve them.
Enough, On Purpose
I want to build one of the best small coaching practices in my field. Personal. Conversational. Experience-based. Impactful . Enough.
For Midlife Male, the vision remains unchanged. Big interviews. Must-read columns. Experiences and recommendations for men who want to live happier, healthier, wealthier, stronger, and have more fun in their 40s and 50s.
Midlife doesn’t reward more. It rewards the more that matters.
Less noise.
Less distraction.
Less proving.
Less chasing what you think you’re supposed to want.
More presence.
More clarity.
More agency.
My final advice:
- Design your life on purpose.
- Choose your standards carefully.
- Make the better choice most of the time.
- Protect your energy.
- Stay in the game.
And keep asking the only question that really matters.
Does this feel right for the life I actually want?
In Health,
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Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
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