No guy ever slid into a golf cart next to one of his pals after ripping a driver, cracked a Michelob Ultra, lit a cigar and said, “dude, time to celebrate bro culture.”
Because despite the constant use of the phrase “bro culture” online and all its stupid offshoots like “tech bro” and “gym bro” and the media throwing “bro” onto everything guys like to try and rip into guys hanging out, there’s no such thing.
Bro culture doesn’t exist.
It’s a made up term by, I’m guessing, “non bros” to put down anything groups of guys like to do together. It’s not something a single normal man on this planet has ever thought or said. It’s not a culture at all. There’s nothing defining or “different” about it.
Guys like to hang out doing different things. That’s normal stuff. It’s not a separate “culture”. It’s just guys being dudes.
I’ve never stepped onto a court to play pick-up ball and said, “let’s get a good run in, hoop bros.” Or walked into a gym to lift and thought, “Ahh, my fellow gym bros are here.” Nobody thinks or says these things. Unless it’s someone trying to put down those things.
For some reason, the idea of regular guys doing cool stuff with other regular guys bothers some people so they have to come up with goofy labels for stuff from the outside to make it seem weird or “different”.
If you look up the definition of “bro culture” you will get lots of think pieces using fancy words that all do the same thing: put down guys who have common interests and like to do them together: lift, golf, run, code, surf, train MMA, ride motorcycles, whatever. If guys like to do things with their friends, it’s now a “culture”. It’s not just, you know, friends hanging out.
Now, I admit, I’m behind on lots of this stuff. I use social media for sports, comedy, movies, swimming tips and to promote our articles and my books. I’ve got a pretty tight crew that I follow, so some of the “always online” trends get to me a little late.
Usually, Greg introduces the newest phrase to me casually because he’s heard it in “the online discourse” a bunch, which brings me to the latest made-up word to describe a made-up thing: manosphere.
Until Friday I’d never heard of this word. Then Greg forwarded me an Instagram post by a guy who was railing against it and after I read it, I thought, “what the hell is a manosphere?”
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Manosphere sounds like it should be an awesome combat competition on American Gladitiators. Or maybe a 90s Paulie Shore movie.
But unfortunately, it’s not. If you haven’t heard of the phrase yet either, don’t bother looking it up. The tamest version is that it’s a term for blogs, podcasts and commentators who focus on masculinity, men’s issues and the well-being of modern males. The non-neutral version is that it’s that same group, but their intentions are to radicalize young men and boys to promote misogyny and a fierce opposition to feminism and to become alpha males. The name and topic were used in a Netflix documentary.
The thing you have to remember is, it’s made up. There is no set definition. Being in the manosphere apparently includes everything from Joe Rogan’s podcast to reading Fight Club to a string of male influencers I’ve never heard of spouting dumb shit.
Up until five minutes ago culturally, guys having common interests were normal and didn’t need a definition or examination. Just about every guy I knew in high school listened to Howard Stern or Mike & Mike in the morning on the ride to school. This wasn’t a “manosphere”. We were just normal high school guys who liked sports and comedy and music.
I played football in high school. The locker room was a blast. That’s where we all hung out before and after games and practice. We didn’t call it “locker room culture” because it wasn’t a culture. It was just where we changed and talked shit and made fun of each other with nobody else around.
You know, stuff normal guys do.
As far as I can tell, all these phrases exist mostly online.
In real life, no dude has ever said to another dude, “Yo, what podcast in the manosphere are you listening to these days?”
Manosphere. Bro culture.
Both these fake words remind me of that great scene in Office Space when cubicle-shackled Peter asks his construction working, beer drinking neighbor if anyone at his work ever asked if he had a “case of the Mondays” and the neighbor says, in his deep, gravelly voice: “No. Shit, no, man. I believe you could get your ass kicked saying something like that, man.”
That’s how I think about terms like manosphere.
So don’t let them take normal things and label them with dumb terms to make them seem “not normal”.
Or, here’s an idea. Let’s embrace the dumb lexicon.
Next time you’re setting up a round with the fellas, text everyone and say, “8AM tee time, my fellow golf bros.”
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Jon Finkel
Editor-in-Chief, Midlife Male
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Check out my latest books at jonfinkel.com
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