We’re in March already, if you can believe that; the last month of the 1st quarter. The weather was beautiful on Sunday so I sat outside in my backyard for my usual 10-15 minute “week that was and week ahead” review, and then it turned into something more.
I began to pour over the standards that I have set for myself, and the goals that I have. I pulled up notes, documents and voice memos to review, listen and determine what still applies, what’s changed, and whether I’m still sure about where I’m going and how I want to get there.
How am I acting? How am I behaving? How am I performing to what I’ve said I’m going to do? What do I need to start doing, stop doing and continue doing?
A recurring theme was my commitment to the basics: simplicity, quality over quantity, and every time I come back to reflect, I gain greater clarity that more isn’t better. Better is better. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that it’s almost never about what I’m doing, but rather what I’ve stopped doing that’s made the difference for me.
I wrote notes for myself, for Kate, for my kids and for my coach. I put lines through 5 ideas that all sound awesome for me, but the reality is they’re not right for right now, or for this year.
Most men at 40–60 don’t usually suffer from lack of opportunity.
We suffer from too many good options.
It’s so simple. And hard.
I revisited my 5 Rules. They don’t change. These aren’t motivational quotes. They’re operating principles.
- Knowing what’s important, is what’s most important
- If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there.
- Aggregate, curate & eliminate
- Show me your calendar, I’ll show you your priorities
- Grace, gratitude & latitude
The things that I talk about every week, for three hours a day with three different coaching clients Tuesdays through Thursdays on our calls. Clarity. Direction. Discipline. Evidence. Emotional regulation.
This is what separates steady men from reactive ones.
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Eating well, not perfectly.
Prioritizing our health, but not over indexing to the point of injury and fatigue. Spending time with our family, and the people that we love, care about, and who matter most.
Appreciating what we have rather than constantly chasing and yearning for what we don’t.
Reducing the comparison and the competition and increasing the connection and collaboration.
What success really looks like by measurable and quantifiable metrics that we determine ourselves, not society or social media or outside influence.
These themes keep coming up, and the longer the gap between reflection, the easier it is for the “rules” to become “some of the times”.
Midlife requires deliberate recalibration.
Without reflection, drift happens. And drift compounds.
So, as we enter this last month of the first quarter, with so much of the year still ahead of us, what I’m challenging myself to do, and you as well, is to not let so much time go between reflection.
Get back to the simplicity of writing down the three personal and three professional things that I’m going to do each day. And then do them. No more. No less.
To read my list of standards and reread it; rather than starting my day with social media, the news, memes and mindless motivation but instead choosing to take in what I myself have actually written. What I know to be true for me.
When we start our days consuming instead of creating, we drift into other people’s agendas.
Each one of you has the same (and if you don’t, start putting pen to paper) for what is true for you. And by being here we’re committed to continuing to work on all of it together. Because that’s the kind of help, and support that really moves the needle, I believe for all of us.
Midlife mastery isn’t about acceleration. It’s about alignment.
The basics are not basic. They are foundational.
In Health,
Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
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