72 Hours in NYC: $750 Chinese Food, 5AM Soho Walks, Hotel Sex & Speaking Gigs
Kate and I headed to New York last week. I was moderating a panel at the Athletech News Innovation Summit. First year for this event, but a big one. Lots of entrepreneurs, founders, and CEOs from brands that matter to middle-aged men.
I was recommended to the event founder, Ed Hertzman, by Jennifer Jacobs from J Method. I met her through Troy Aikman at an EIGHT Beer event in Houston. Funny how those connections work. These moments always remind me to stay humble and grateful when good people go out of their way to help.
Mr. Chow’s Isn’t What It Used to Be
Monday night, we met friends for dinner at Mr. Chow’s. This place was legendary when I was growing up. I remember those epic meals back in the late 90s with the same group of friends. Only back then, we were drinking heavily, ordering everything on the menu, stepping outside between courses to smoke or get high, and racing home along the Long Island Expressway like idiots.
Fast forward almost 30 years, and it hits a little different. The food gave me a stomachache. The bill did too. Seven hundred and fifty dollars for mediocre Chinese food in a restaurant that feels way past its prime. Sobriety is sobering. Your senses get sharper.
The company though, I love. It’s pretty special when you’ve all been friends since 3rd grade. We talked about Father’s Day with the kids, summer plans, when everyone’s kids head back to school. One friend was debating whether he should take a couple days off work to bring his sons back to college for senior year, or let Mom handle it solo. My advice? You can afford it, it’s a memory, and you’ll regret missing it if you don’t go.
Another friend is trying to convince his ex that a two-week Jewish skills and survival camp in France isn’t the same as the seven-week sleepaway camp in Maine he wants for his kids. And of course, we were missing one couple this trip because they had to attend a funeral. That happens more often in your 50s. Friends start getting sick. Parents pass away. It’s part of the phase of life we’re all in.
Events Like This Are High School with Name Tags
Back to the event. Here’s how I see it.
These events are cliquish and uncomfortable for the most part. They remind me of high school cafeterias with different groups at different tables. Only now, it’s the posturing between the people on stage and those in the audience.
I don’t like it when I see grown men acting like they’re too cool to be somewhere or talk to anyone not on their “level.” Then they get on stage and preach about kindness, authenticity, or how the mundane is sexy. Meanwhile, their actions, image, and attitude tell a different story. That disconnect pisses me off.
It’s uncomfortable. Everyone jockeying for position, promoting themselves, trying to sell something. I don’t care for it.
My Game Plan for Navigating Events
Here’s what I do instead.
First, I get the speaker and panelist roster in advance. I ask the event coordinator for their contact info. Then I curate exactly who I want to meet and why. I send a quick email that says something like:
“Hey, I saw you’re speaking at the event. I am too. Would love to connect for a few minutes beforehand.”
If I have something specific to discuss, I mention it. If it’s after the event:
“Sorry we missed each other at the event. Would love to set up a quick call to connect on [insert specific thing].”
Simple. Ninety percent success rate. You’re on the same level. You’re both speaking. It’s credible.
Or, I pull out the big gun and use a mutual connection. Something like, “Ed said we’d benefit from knowing each other.” Even better if they make the intro themselves over email or text.
Why? Because walking up and inserting yourself into conversations is awkward; at least for me anyway.
Why My Wife Kate Doesn’t Sit Through the Boring Stuff
After that, I decided I was done with the event. My panel was over. I’d been “on” since breakfast. I met Kate back at the hotel at four. She’d been out shopping and eating with a friend.
People sometimes ask why she doesn’t come to these events. Sometimes she does, but most of the time, why would she? If you don’t know anyone, they’re boring. I’ve got work to do. I want her to enjoy herself when we travel, not sit in a ballroom all day.
Simple Wins: Pizza, Naps, and Hotel Room Sex
I’d rather meet her afterward, swap stories from our day, and have hotel room sex at four in the afternoon. After 25 years together, sex somewhere new, at a different time of day, is always better than at home.
We grabbed slices from Prince Street Pizza, napped for two hours, then walked to a quiet trattoria for dinner. Late for us is 7:30.
We’re simple. We went to MAMO, split a great salad, a chicken dish, seafood pasta, and capped it off with the best tiramisu in New York. Back at the hotel by 9:30, watching the Stanley Cup. I fell asleep in the third period. No idea who won.
The Best Moments Are Quiet Ones
This is what works for me now. My favorite times in the city are walking around Soho after dinner when it’s quiet, and early mornings at 5:30 walking to the gym. No noise, no crowds. Just peace. I don’t do hustle and chaos well anymore. I aim for low-friction living.
Parenting, Montreal Strip Clubs, and Making Memories
Meanwhile, we’re texting my son Harper non-stop. He left for Barcelona the same day we left for New York. His flight was delayed four hours, missed his connection in Montreal, had to get a hotel, rebook for the next day, reroute his bag, and figure it all out. Handled it like a champ.
My advice? If you’re stuck in Montreal with extra time, check out the strip clubs. They were excellent when I was a kid. My first strip club experience was there, on a camp trip, when we snuck out of the hotel and somehow didn’t get caught.
It’s funny what you remember. We need these dumb stories to look back on and laugh about in middle age.
The Routine Before Heading Home
Alarm set for six. I hit The Strength Club at seven for a workout. Kenny Santucci’s gym on 28th Street is great. Sauna and plunge after at Othership, breakfast with Kate (she sleeps in), then off to record the LivBtr podcast with my friend Jay Siano.
We usually stay at 11 Howard, so after checkout, I headed uptown to meet Jason Burke from New Primal and Noble Made for a product demo and lunch.
Then, it’s off to the airport and back home.
In health,
Greg
Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach. Student of the game.
Still walking the walk.
Making the Rounds:
My Appearance in The Modern Elder Academy’s Newsletter
Modern Elder Academy Founder Chip Conley recently made a blog post referencing my article on andropause. Chip appeared on the cover of the Midlife Male and gave a ‘How I See It’ interview that you can check out here.
Chip’s a guy who I normally wouldn’t gravitate towards because it’s harder for me to seek out the sensitive, the empathetic, the learners, the softer side of strength – the mental, emotional, and spiritual side of strength. But Chip’s results speak for themselves, just ask any of the thousands of lives he’s lifted up and helped to navigate this chapter of our lives. If his mission speaks to you, check out the Modern Elder Academy here.
P.S., I just had one coaching slot open up. If you are serious and interested, check it out:
Get One-on-One Coaching with me. I coach a select few men one-on-one. It’s just you and me, talking it through, making a plan, and pushing you toward your next win. No pressure, just progress. Reach out—let’s make it happen, one step at a time. Book your call here.
Aaaaannnd coming this FALL:
In October of this year we’re going to have our first in-person, Midlife Male Excellent Adventure. We’re working out all the details now, but if you’re looking for a cool weekend in a cool place doing cool shit, this is going to be for you. I’ll be there. Our Editor-in-Chief Jon will be there. Details and sign-ups coming soon.
