Last week, I was flying to New York to speak at the Athletech News Innovation Summit.
The flight took off early Monday morning, and right on cue, I reached for my laptop like I always do. No thinking. Just habit, routine, reflex.
I opened my inbox. Checked the calendar. Jotted down a few quick notes for the next newsletter. I was trying to keep the momentum going. Never miss a Monday, right? The usual Monday motivation.
Except this time, not really.
The WiFi was down.
That Twitch to Stay Busy
I went through all the usual steps. Turned airplane mode off, then on, then off again. Nothing worked. I asked the flight attendant if the WiFi was working. She shrugged. No service.
I looked around the cabin. It was full of guys in suits. I always notice who looks healthy, who doesn’t, who seems happy. Body language never lies.
This was a plane full of work trips, presentations, meetings. Everyone looked like they had done this before.
I was sitting in row seven, like I always do. Poor man’s first class. I like that row because you get a good view of the plane. You can see the divide, who is in front of you, who is behind you.
I noticed the polished shoes, the AirPods, the laptops, the phones in every direction. Everyone looked like they were working on something important, or at least trying to look that way.
Meanwhile, I was just sitting there, feeling that familiar urge. The need to do something, check something, answer someone. To move the ball forward. To be productive. To earn my seat.
But I had to stop and ask myself, what is actually so urgent?
Why can’t I just sit here?
Maybe It’s Not the WiFi
That is when it hit me. If I can’t go three hours without WiFi, without feeling off, maybe the problem is not the WiFi. Maybe it’s me.
I started thinking about the guys I coach. The ones who are always traveling, always working, always chasing the next thing. Executives, keynote speakers, entrepreneurs. The guys who feel like they cannot stop.
They are always on the move, always presenting, always pitching. Alone in hotel rooms, delayed in airports, trying to stay “on” while everything around them feels completely out of their control.
Last month, I had Rich Diviney on the podcast. He shared something that really stuck with me.
He said, “Having to be ‘always on’ might point to an inability to be authentic. It does not necessarily mean your authenticity is low, but rather the environment does not allow it. Be aware of the environments you are consistently placing yourself in. Make sure you are getting enough opportunities to let loose and just be yourself.”
That landed with me.
I have been in those environments. I have created those environments. I stayed in them for too long and called it success.
Stop Trying to Win the Flight
There is also this new trend I have been reading about. People call it “raw dogging a flight.” No book, no show, no headphones. You just sit there and stare at the flight map for hours.
I respect it, but I am not there yet.
So I opened a book. Real pages. No screens.
I wrote a few things down. Actual thoughts, not content for work.
I breathed.
I closed my eyes for a while.
I did not try to “win” the flight. I just sat with it.
Middle Ground is Where It Makes Sense
The numbers do not lie. Around sixty percent of middle-aged men report chronic stress. Burnout is everywhere. Most of us get stuck between two extremes. You are either seen as lazy or you are celebrated for pushing too hard.
But here is the thing. There is no prize for burnout. There is no trophy for grinding nonstop. There is also no shame in slowing down.
I actually believe that the space in the middle, the place where you are not burning yourself out but not zoning out either, is where life starts to make sense.
You do not have to rawdog a flight to find that space. You just have to start noticing the patterns.
What do you do when there is nothing to do?
Who are you when no one is watching?
Are you always performing, or are you creating an environment where you can just be yourself?
Three hours without WiFi reminded me of something simple. I do not need constant connection to feel valuable.
I need to stay connected to myself.
And sometimes, that means shutting it all down, on purpose, for a little while.
In health,
Greg
midlifemalmidli
femalemidlif
Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
Follow me on LinkedIn, and Instagram
midlifemal
midlifemale
midlifemal
Join 20,000+ driven men over 40 getting free weekly advice on maximizing their health, wealth, and fulfillment in midlife. Subscribe here.
