For the last several months, I’ve been meeting a coaching client at a local park to walk at 7 AM on Fridays. That’s the only time he says he can do it. So we made a commitment. I shifted my schedule, moved my Friday pool workout to Thursday, woke up earlier, and added the drive time. What used to be a one-hour session between us now takes two.
But I was fine with it, as long as the commitment went both ways.
We’ve now done this for 90 days, and here’s what I’ve learned:
Some people are happy to walk in circles, literally and figuratively, and waste everyone’s time.
As much as the walk was about exercise and fresh air, it was also about turning accountability into action. Each week, we’d talk about what needed to get done before the next Friday. But if one of us follows through and the other doesn’t, what’s the point?
The Work Happens Between the Walks
Let me be brutally honest about what I see every day in my coaching practice:
If you say you want to lose 20 pounds, but I introduce you to three trainers and you hire none of them, how committed are you?
If you say you want to change your diet, but won’t take the time to meet with a nutritionist, what kind of results do you think will show up?
If you write a resignation letter to the job you’ve hated for 15 years, but never pull it out of the drawer, how do you expect the next chapter of your life to begin?
If you say you want to open a coffee shop, but never visit one, scout a location, or write down a name, when exactly do you plan to start?
If you say you care about your marriage, but skip counseling and don’t make time for connection, how do you expect things to improve?
Circles Are Comfortable. Change Is Not.
There are a lot of men out there who talk about what they want but never do the work to get it. They stay in motion, but not in progress. It’s a cycle. A comfortable loop. Just enough activity to feel like something’s happening. Not enough action to change anything.
When I called this out with my Friday morning client, his response was, “Let’s go from weekly to every other week.”
Let me get this straight.
You’ve made no progress. But you want to slow down? You want to do even less? You want more space between the thing you’re not doing and the next time we talk about not doing it?
That’s not how change works. That’s not how growth happens.
Less effort means less progress. Less frequency means less accountability. More space between conversations means more time to talk yourself out of action.
And here’s the kicker—he’s not unusual. He’s just saying out loud what a lot of people quietly choose. More time. Less pressure. Fewer expectations. No progress.
Walk Toward Something
If you don’t want it, don’t say it. If you’re not going to do it, stop paying for advice, access, insight, and coaching you’re not willing to use.
The truth is simple. The real work happens in the space between sessions. Between the walks. Between the calls. Between the commitments you make and the actions you take.
The men who change their lives (who lose the weight, quit the job, fix the marriage, build the thing) they don’t walk in circles. They walk toward something. And they keep going.
So stop walking in circles.
Start walking forward.
And do the work in between.
In health,
midlifemalmidli
femalemidlif
Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
Follow me on LinkedIn, and Instagram
midlifemal
midlifemale
midlifemal
Join 20,000+ driven men over 40 getting free weekly advice on maximizing their health, wealth, and fulfillment in midlife. Subscribe here.
