I don’t know when it happened, but the level of rudeness and lack of basic consideration out there is off the charts. It feels like common courtesy has been put on the endangered species list. People shout into their phones in public like they’re the only ones in the room. They treat restaurants, airplanes, and theaters like their living rooms. They leave their trash everywhere and expect someone else to pick it up. They cut lines, block sidewalks, and stare at their screens while the rest of us are forced to dodge around them.
It’s selfish. It’s lazy. And it drives me nuts.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t make the slightest attempt to get out of the way when you’re walking towards each other.
It’s so simple. So basic.
I’m walking in the park. Someone’s coming right at me; walking, running, whatever. I immediately think about moving to my right so we don’t collide. It’s automatic for me. But I can’t tell you how fucking often the other person doesn’t budge. Doesn’t make the slightest effort. And if I didn’t move? We’d be going shoulder to shoulder.
And let me tell you something; because of the state of society, where most people are obese or out of shape, they’d get the brunt of this collision. And I’m not trying to sound like a tough guy. It’s just true.
Now maybe they’re distracted. Maybe they’re entitled. Maybe they’re just clueless. But to me, this is a major thing. It’s rampant. And it tells you a lot about people. About manners. About respect. About courtesy and awareness.
Because it’s not just sidewalks. It’s everywhere. People FaceTiming on speaker in airport lounges. People boarding planes in pajama pants and slippers like they couldn’t bother to get dressed for society. People leaving their shopping carts wherever they feel like instead of walking them twenty feet to the rack. People cutting in line because they think their time is more valuable than everyone else’s. People blasting music from Bluetooth speakers on the beach when nobody asked for their playlist. People letting doors slam in someone’s face instead of holding them for two seconds. People letting their dogs crap on the sidewalk and walking away.
It’s death by a thousand cuts of common courtesy. Every little moment adds up, and it paints a picture of where we’re at as a culture: “me first, screw everyone else.”
The Encounter That Stopped Me
Last week, Kate and I were walking around Manhattan Beach. I had taken my shoes off to exercise at one of the outdoor workout stations, run down to the ocean, jump in, and then run back up for a few more sets.
When I came back up, I sat down along the seawall. I was cleaning the sand off my feet, putting my socks and shoes back on. And that’s when I noticed a man walking toward me.
One hand on the seawall. The other gripped a cane. A prosthetic leg.
I’m watching him get closer and I start pacing it in my head. I need to move for this guy. He needs the support. I’ve got enough time to finish getting my shoes on and still be out of his way so I don’t impede him at all.
But as he gets closer, he raises his arm, looks at me, and says, “Hey, all good.” And he starts to go around me.
I stopped and said, “No, man, all good. I saw you coming. I was getting up to make sure you had the right of way.”
He smiled, he laughed, and he said, “Thank you. I need the extra work.”
That’s the guy I admire.
In fact, that’s the guy we all should admire.
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about sidewalks or seawalls. It’s about effort. It’s about respect. It’s about being aware of the people around you. It’s about not being entitled.
And if we all lived that way, if we all moved first and put in the work; we wouldn’t just avoid collisions. We’d create connections. We’d build character. We’d make the world a hell of a lot better.
In Health,
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Greg Scheinman
Founder, Midlife Male
52. Husband. Father. Entrepreneur. Coach.
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