Cord cut all you want, but there is no more serendipitous television feeling for a dude over 40 than to turn on the TV, flip through to AMC, and discover that A Few Good Men is on.
Doesn’t matter where you pick it up. Caffey hitting ground balls to Shirby. Jessup’s “I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4,000 Cubans who are trained to kill me” line. Caffey breaking up Smilin’ Jack Ross’ hoops game. Caffey’s cross examination of Noah Wiley about the mess hall. Kendrick on the stand. Markinson “the ghost” turning up in Caffey’s car. Or even if you’re right at the end before the Caffey vs. Jessup faceoff.
What do you wanna discuss now? My favorite color?
I’ve watched A Few Good Men or parts of it probably 1,000 times. My most recent watch was late last week and every time I catch something new or I appreciate something different; but one thing that rewatching this movie hammers home more and more is what a horrible, insufferable lawyer/colleague Commander Jo Galloway was.
Forget the fact that the movie starts with her bosses denying her request to represent Dawson and Downey herself. Look, she asked. Good for her. Way to show some moxy. But her bosses discussed it for about four seconds, and then said they’d rather have division assign someone, anyone, but her.
Then she meets Caffey, insults him right off the bat (“I thought I’d be taken seriously”), tries to get him removed from the case, then sneaks her way into talking to his clients with Aunt Ginny’s authorization.
Then, once she’s on the case, she becomes an annoying hall monitor in Cuba (“Are you going to investigate or just take the guided tour?”) and tries to embarrass Caffey in front of Jessup, which leads to his phenomenal “superior officer speech” so it was worth it.
And after pushing every button with Caffey, about not living up to his father’s expectations, about telling him that he’s a used car salesman and that he’s “nothing, live with that” they finally go to court to defend Dawson and Downey.
But this is where Commander Galloway really shines and by shines I mean sucks.
One, she does the whole “strenuously object” thing.
Okay, that’s a difference between paper law and trial law, as the great Sam Weinberg says. Fine. We move on.
BUT THEN…
Not knowing that PFC Louden Downey wasn’t in the room to hear the Code Red order is inexcusable!
The whole entire case was built on this one thing: that Dawson and Downey were ordered to give the Code Red by a superior officer!
And Jo spent all her time with that dumb kid and talking to Aunt Ginny to represent him for hours on end…
And she NEVER ONCE confirmed that Dawson actually heard the order???
And it blows up on the stand!
What an insane level of incompetence by Jo. Inexcusable!
After the courtroom fiasco, Caffey gets loaded on Jack Daniels, finds out Markinson killed himself, and gives Jo an all-time, well deserved dressing down, where he shouts two legendary lines:
“Oh, I’m sorry! You were sick the day they taught law at law school.”
And…
“Thank you for playing! Should we, or should we not, follow the advice of the galactically stupid!”
Both lines were completely justified, even though Caffey was hammered.
Then, Jo, who that day in court proves that she kinda is galactically stupid, turns it all around on Caffey and says that he’s a coward… and in his drunken stupor he somehow falls for it, feels guilty, and decides to call Jessup on the stand.
AND THEN, after all that, the second before Caffey is about to call Jessup to the stand, as they’re walking into court, right before he’s about to do the very thing Jo has egged him on to do the entire movie, she pulls him aside into a conference room and basically says:
“Uh, hey, sooooo… All the stuff I said about you being a wimp and putting Jessup on the stand… And all the times I dared you to do this crazy ass thing that could get you disbarred uhhh… And all the insults I hurled at you… Well, uh, you may not want to ask Jessup about this Code Red thing. You could get in a ton of trouble.”
Really? Really, Jo? Now you’re concerned?
Caffey would have had every right to ask her to just leave the damn court room and never show her face in DC again.
She tanked his case, dared him to subpoena Jessup, then, seconds before the biggest day of his life, she says: “you could lose your entire career, sorry.”
Kudos to Caffey for winning with the judiciary anchor that was Jo Galloway around his neck.
But they probably got married after the movie so who knows. They definitely hooked up that night. 100%.
Thank you all for paying attention to this matter. It needed to be laid out for all of us. Enjoy the movie next time you watch it!
And let me know if you agree!
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Jon Finkel
Editor-in-Chief, Midlife Male
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Check out my latest books at jonfinkel.com
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