If you know me at all, you know that I stress two things—grab life by the balls and make the most of every day you’re blessed to receive on this earth. And…chill out and don’t overbook your life.
Both of these exhortations can be true.
There’s what you want or need that you say yes to and there’s what you don’t want or need that you say no to.
Where it becomes dicey is when you want or need something that you say no to and what you don’t want or need that you say yes to. Then you’re in the realm of obligations and opportunity costs and FOMO.
I can’t sort all that out for you.
What I can tell you is that if you develop a strong sense of who you want to be and who you are, these questions become a lot easier. At the core of deciding who you want to be by the time you’re gone is respecting the fact that you will be gone.
Someday, you’ll be gone. Because the shot clock is ticking. Whether you choose to be busy or not, you’re not gonna be able to stop the clock. Life doesn’t give you a series of “time-outs.”
Jay Shetty, an author, life coach, and former monk, once wrote, “Find three hobbies. One to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to keep you creative.” He nailed it. That’s really it. Go back and look at my list above. With the exception of family, which always comes first, I’m doing my best to stick to that mantra.
What is difficult for many of us who think we’re still 24 years old and can do it all is imposing rules on ourselves and then sticking to them. By the time you’re in midlife, I hope you learn the benefits of NOT doing certain things so that you can afford to do the things that you do. Got that?
Believe me, this is really fucking hard. Particularly at first because adopting a lot of the above involved major fundamental changes to my lifestyle and decision-making process. It comes down to discipline, strength, willingness to change, and beginning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You have to fight the fear of missing out, or being labeled a quitter, or losing some friends, or pissing off some people. What you create in this process though is the ability to play the long game toward sustainability, longevity, authenticity, vulnerability, security, and contentment.
Gradually the changes and commitment result in feeling and acting better and becoming more secure and comfortable in your own skin. You reduce the FOMO because what you’re already doing is where you know you want to be. You upgrade from those who weren’t adding to your life or appreciating your value to surrounding yourself with more like-minded and positive relationships.
You really free up a lot of time when you don’t do a lot of things. Start saying no or just simply stop showing up to the stuff you don’t need to be involved with.
In Health
G
