I look at watches online…Obsessively. I love watches. I won’t buy another watch until I reach another personal and professional milestone – more on that later…
The reason I stopped buying possessions is that I realized they provide instant gratification, immediate buyers remorse, cost money, create financial anxiety, and don’t do anything for anyone but me.
What brings me more joy, fulfillment, motivation, and purpose is to earn more and spend more for others. To be able to create experiences for those I care about and in turn, selfishly get so much more out of giving than acquiring.
My aunt is one of the greatest people I know. She is my father’s sister. She has lost her husband (not dead actually but a deadbeat actually…), her brother/my father (unfortunately dead actually), her mother and her father/my nana and papa (yes & yes). She has great kids and grandkids of her own.
My boys & wife adore their aunt Lenore. Over the years we’ve gotten closer. I think it’s also that she’s such a wonderful reminder of my father and nana; who was and will always be the two people I’m closest to. I think that since they passed, I’ve always been guarded about letting anyone else really get in. Kate did and obviously my boys but those quite frankly are different roles for me.
We rented a house in Costa Rica for a few weeks this summer. Kate & I told the boys that they could each bring a friend. On one hand, I want them all to myself as these summers are flying by and I don’t want to miss a moment with either of them. On the other hand, all I want is for them to be happy, have fun and share great experiences with great friends so it’s all good. Maybe their friends will even think they have a cool dad.
I realized that we had extra rooms in the house so without asking Kate (not saying this is a great approach but often I take the ready, shoot, aim approach and end up asking for forgiveness rather than permission I invited Lenore to join us. ) In this case I knew she’d be ok with it.
It took all of one second to realize I made the right decision.
Hearing her voice I knew that the invitation alone flattered her.
That whether she could make it or not (and I genuinely wanted her to make it) that we thought enough to invite her, include her, and want her with us, meant a lot.
Whatever she was feeling, I can assure you I got back tenfold.
What’s the point in being able to do great things if you can’t share them with those you care about?
Homes are meant to be filled with loved ones and friends.
Experiences are meant to be shared. Memories are meant to be made.
Money is a tool to help make those things happen – a watch has never done anything more for me than tell time.
So now, whenever someone comments “Nice watch” I always think about what exchanging possessions for experiences can do for others and yourself
Give it a try.
Doesn’t need to be expensive or on a grand scale.
Tiny gestures work just as well.
G
