This week I’m doing something I’ve never done before; turning the newsletter over to a guest contributor. I read the below post from my friend Jared and immediately asked him if I could use it for the newsletter. I hope you enjoy it as much I did and I hope this is the beginning of many more guest contributions to Midlife Male.
50 life lessons at 50 years of age.
By Jared Maidenberg
Turning 50 is a huge milestone birthday for everyone. It causes you to reflect on the years that have passed and re-evaluate what you think is important and what is not so that you can make the most of (hopefully) the next 50 years. And a huge part of this process is adjusting your mindset to match that which you now know to be true.
It’s amazing how fifty years of experience can mold your thoughts.
For me, turning 50 means letting go of some things. Things I can not change. Turning 50 also means realizing and embracing those things that you still have time to change. It is not too late. As long as you have breath, you must live life as fully as you can.
For anyone under 50 reading this, I have some good news for you. 50 is pretty darned good!
I even surprise myself by writing this, because believe me, I never thought the day would come when I would embrace being half a century. But it has arrived, and it doesn’t suck, in fact, I feel and live better now than at 40!
When I was in my 40’s, I took life much more seriously I think.
In fact, I think I was mysteriously older then than I am now. Is that possible? When you are busy building a business, raising children, accumulating stuff, and creating a lifestyle, you are defined by that “busyness”
I was also a “late bloomer” in life and while many others were out there chasing success in their 20’s and early 30’s I was out there having fun, traveling, and pondering the meaning of life.
Then I got a little more serious about life. Fatherhood will do that for ya.
It’s serious work. You have to make money to pay for the lifestyle and you’re constantly chasing that proverbial “success”.
Those years are fulfilling and wonderful, but they also are fraught with upheaval and angst. We struggle toward some kind of perfection and achievement that is ‘out there’ somewhere, always in the chase.
I don’t know about you, but I have spent a lot of time trying to create the self I thought I should be. I pieced together the “perfect” me made from pieces of this and that. The clothes I wear, the neighborhood and house we live in, the car I drive, the friends I have, etc. It looks pretty nice from the outside. And much of it is nice on the inside too.
But I spent way, way too much time in the work of crafting myself, and far too little time just being myself.
When you are spinning your wheels to maintain this beautifully crafted life, you miss out on a whole lot of real living.
If I were able to time travel and visit my younger self, there are some things I would really like to teach me. Since I can’t do that, hopefully, you will benefit from some of the lessons I’ve learned over the last 50 years.
1 Life happens for you, not to you. Life isn’t always fair, but it’s still so good.
2. Dream Big and go for it! When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone, envying, or holding onto grudges
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Debt sucks, Debt Free Rocks, pay off debt ASAP and create your Freedom.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree respectfully. You can be right (all the time) or you can have peace …but ya can’t have both
7. Cry and be okay with being seen crying by your kids. It’s healing for all
8. At 50 ya can’t party like ya used to
9. Simple is better, Simplify your life. Experiences > stuff
10. Surround yourself with good energy, energy givers vs “energy vampires”.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. You matter, you are worthy of Love always, no matter what
12. It’s OK to vulnerable.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Comparison is the thief of joy
14. Be interested (in others) vs trying to be interesting. Talk less, listen to more. 2 ears one mouth, use proportionally.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Life is too short for drama. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. Start doing the things you wanna do in life Now. “Someday” is not a day of the week
18 Being RKA (Respectful, Kind, and Appreciative) will take you a long way in life.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, drink from the fancy glass, wear fancy clothes. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Live life with an attitude of Gratitude, make it your default setting.
23. Be You! Don’t wait for old age to be true to yourself.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone for everything. Forgiveness is a huge step in emotional freedom and overall mental wellness and the best gift to give yourself.
29. Don’t worry about what others think of you. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. People will come and go in life. Your true friends are there for a lifetime…Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. The goal in life is to die young as late in life as possible
37. Your children get only one childhood and you basically only have 18 summers with them (God willing) …Make it memorable.
38. Work smart, not just hard. Residual income rocks and is the gold standard of income = Freedom.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that doesn’t serve you and that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful
43. All that truly matters, in the end, is that you loved
44. Stop playing the blame, shame, and justify game and take 100% responsibility for your life
45. The best is yet to come.
46. A good life must be built upon a Foundation of Health and Wellness
47. BREATHE. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present
And if in doubt, go Surfing
